The Jersey's Jersey
From Diablo Wiki
The Jersey's Jersey is an optional, hidden quest in Hellfire. To enable it you must have the "cowquest" tag in your command.txt file. When active it takes the place of the Farmer's Orchard quest. This quest is comic relief, and must have been designed by the Sierra guys who made Hellfire as another cow-themed Easter Egg.
 The Jersey's Jersey
- Quest Name: The Jersey's Jersey
- Triggered By: Entering the Caves or reaching level 15.
- Frequency: Every game in Hellfire, if the cowquest is enabled.
- Given by: Complete Nut
- Location: Town
- Reward: Access to the Hive, and the Bovine Plate.
When this quest is enabled you will find the Complete Nut standing near the cows, instead of Lester the Farmer. He tells you a bizarre story about how he left his brown suit in his home, the Nest, and gives you a bomb to blast your way in. You will find the brown suit somewhere on the ground in level 4. There's a gray suit to be found on level 3, but it's of no use.
When you return the brown suit to him he gives you the Bovine Plate as a reward.
 Strategy Tips
This wacky quest sort of defies strategy, but obviously you'll need to get to level four of the Hive, and look around until you find the brown suit. The Search spell in Hellfire is of great help with this, and all other item location tasks.
 Quest Dialogues
- First Encounter
- Second Encounter
- I said, moo.
- Third Encounter
- Look I'm just a cow, ok?
- Fourth Encounter
- All right, all right. I'm not really a cow. I don't normally go around like this; but, I was sitting at home minding my own business and all of a sudden these bugs & vines & bulbs & stuff started coming out of the floor... It was horrible! If only I had something normal to wear, it wouldn't be so bad. Hey! Could you go back to my place and get my suit for me? The brown one, not the gray one, that's for evening wear. I'd do it myself, but I don't want anyone seeing me like this. Here, take this, you might need it... To kill those things that have overgrown everything. You can't miss my house. It's just south of the fork in the river... You know... The one with the overgrown vegetable garden.
- What are you waisting time for? Go get my suit! And hurry! That holstein over there keeps winking at me!
- Return (with gray suit)
- No no no no! This is my gray suit! It's for evenig wear! Formal occasion! I can't wear this. What are you, some kind of Weirdo? I need the brown suit.
Complete Nut (if you are under level 15 and haven't reached the Caves)
- First Return
- Look. I'm a cow. And you, you're monster bait. Get some experience under your belt! we'll talk.
- Second Return
- Me, I'm a self-made cow. Make something of yourself, and... then we'll talk.
- Third Return
- I don't have to explain myself to every tourist that walks by! Don't you have some monsters to kill? Maybe we'll talk later. If you live...
- Fourth Return
- Quit bugging me. I'm looking for someone really heroic. And you're not it. I can't trust you, you're going to get eaten by monsters any day now... I need someone who's an experienced hero.
- All right, I'll cut the bull. I didn't mean to steer you wrong. I was sitting at home, feeling moody, when things got really unstable; a whole stampede of monsters came out of the floor! I just cowed. I just happened to be wearing this Jersey when I ran out the door, and now I look utterly ridiculous. If only I had something normal to wear, it wouldn't be so bad. Hey! Can you go back to my place and get my suit for me? The brown one, not the gray one, that's for evening wear. I'd do it myself, but I don't want anyone seeing me like this. Here, take this, you might need it... to kill those things that have overgrown everything. You can't miss my house, it's just south of the fork in the river... you know... the one with the overgrown vegetable garden.
- Hey, have you got my suit there? Quick, pass it over! These ears itch like you wouldn't believe.
- Ahh, that's much better. Whew! At last, some dignity! Are my antlers on straight? Good. Look, thanks a lot for helping me out. Here, take this as a gift; and, you know... A little fashion tip... You could use a little... You could use a new... Yknowwhatimean? The whole adventurer motif is just so... Retro. Just a word of advice, eh? Ciao.
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