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11:20, 31 May 2008
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Gheed is an NPC found in the [[Rogue Encampment]]. He sells weapons and armor, and provides the [[Gambling]] service in Act One. His name rhymes with Greed, and not for nothing; he's venal, greedy, and frequently quite funny.
==Act One Dialogues==
Gheed does not give any quests or quest rewards, and he's not much on useful advice, but he has a number of amusing gossips.
Good day to you partner! I'm Gheed and I can already tell that I'll be your best friend in this forsaken camp. A spare weapon, some gold, a small gem is all I want in exchange for the equipment you'll need on whatever quests you might undertake. Now, now, now... Don't be shy, all of my items are guaranteed for life and come with a two-day warranty!
===Special Necromancer Introduction==
A Necromancer! I hoped I'd never have to lay my eyes on one of your kind again. ... The recent troubles in this area have brought out all kinds, I see. Nevertheless, your money's good... A spare weapon, some gold, a small gem is all I want in exchange for the equipment you'll need on whatever quests you might undertake! Now, now, now... Don't be shy, all of my items are guaranteed for life and come with a two-day warranty!
==Den of Evil==
You're a brave soul! I'd sooner thrust my sacred scepter into the foulest, carbuncular trull than set one boot into that cave.
Demons still befouling that cave, huh? I think you might need a new weapon.
The only good demon is a dead one, I say. By the way, did you happen to find anything in that cave you'd like to sell?
==Sisters' Burial Grounds==
I'm sorry... The undead are bad for trade. I have a strict no-return policy.
I wonder if that old gossip, Melra, is among the undead? Oh, she had dirt on everybody.
Some of those gals weren't so nice the first time around.
I would sooner micturate in a tankard of my own ale than journey to Tristram!
Barking up the wrong tree, huh? You'll find it, just keep looking.
Look, friend... I trade a lot of strange items, but I'm not going to start dealing in bark. Okay?
I'm told that Tristram now resembles a mead hall... after a Barbarian wedding! I will wait here for your most glorious return.
Ah, Cain is here... another customer. I haven't been this pleased since a love-starved maiden let down a bit more than her hair.
==The Forgotten Tower==
The only wealth you're likely to find there is a wealth of vermin.
Guess what! I've named a boil on my ass after you. It, too, bothers me every time I sit down.
Warriv's advice is like corpse gas; it befouls the air for a moment and then it disappears.
==Tools of the Trade==
Charsi talks of nothing anymore, but this Horadric Malus. Between you and her my ears need a rest. Just find it and bring it back quickly. I have offered my nomadic phallus, but to no avail.
I have heard that you bear us no Malus.
I guess it's too late to take back some of the names I called you.
==Sisters to the Slaughter==
You're going after Andariel? ... One of my wagon wheels is in need of repair. I'll be under the wagon, if I'm needed.
Have you stumbled upon that Demon Queen, yet? I hear she's quite the beauty... as far as Maidens of Anguish go, that is.
I'm going to party like it's 999!
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