Farnham the Drunk
Farnum, the town drunk, can be found to the far south of town, next to the last structure in that direction. He sits there and provides nothing but rambling and sometimes panicked gossips, none of which are required for any quests. From his alarming dialogues, Farnum was one of the men who ventured into the labyrinth to find the missing prince. He narrowily escaped death at the hands (cleaver) of the Butcher, and has retreated into the bottom of a jug of ale to try and forget his terror.
Voice Actor: ?
- Can't a fella drink in peace?
- I wanna tell ya sumthin', 'cause I know all about this stuff. It's my specialty. This here is the best... theeeee best! That other ale ain't no good since those stupid dogs...
- No one ever lis... listens to me. Somewhere - I ain't too sure - but somewhere under the church is a whole pile o' gold. Gleamin' and shinin' and just waitin' for someone to get it.
- I know you gots your own ideas, and I know you're not gonna believe this, but that weapon you got there - it just ain't no good against those big brutes! Oh, I don't care what Griswold says, they can't make anything like they used to in the old days...
- If I was you... and I ain't... but if I was, I'd sell all that stuff you got and get out of here. That boy out there... He's always got somethin good, but you gotta give him some gold or he won't even show you what he's got.
- Why don't that old crone do somethin' for a change. Sure, sure, she's got stuff, but you listen to me... she's unnatural. I ain't never seen her eat or drink - and you can't trust somebody who doesn't drink at least a little.
- Cain isn't what he says he is. Sure, sure, he talks a good story... some of 'em are real scary or funny... but I think he knows more than he knows he knows.
- The gal who brings the drinks? Oh, yeah, what a pretty lady. So nice, too.
- Griswold? Good old Griswold. I love him like a brother! We fought together, you know, back when... we... Lazarus... Lazarus... Lazarus!!!
- Ogden is the best man in town. I don't think his wife likes me much, but as long as she keeps tappin' kegs, I'll like her just fine. Seems like I been spendin' more time with Ogden than most, but he's so good to me...
- Hehehe, I like Pepin. He really tries, you know. Listen here, you should make sure you get to know him. Good fella like that with people always wantin' help. Hey, I guess that would be kinda like you, huh hero? I was a hero too...
- Wirt is a kid with more problems than even me, and I know all about problems. Listen here - that kid is gotta sweet deal, but he's been there, you know? Lost a leg! Gotta walk around on a piece of wood. So sad, so sad...
Gossip (About Farnham)
- The higher you place your faith in one man, the farther it has to fall. Farnham has lost his soul, but not to any demon. It was lost when he saw his fellow townspeople betrayed by the Archbishop Lazarus. He has knowledge to be gleaned, but you must separate fact from fantasy.
- Poor Farnham. He is a disquieting reminder of the doomed assembly that entered into the Cathedral with Lazarus on that dark day. He escaped with his life, but his courage and much of his sanity were left in some dark pit. He finds comfort only at the bottom of his tankard nowadays, but there are occasional bits of truth buried within his constant ramblings.
- Farnham is a drunkard who fills his belly with ale and everyone else's ears with nonsense.
- I know that both Pepin and Ogden feel sympathy for him, but I get so frustrated watching him slip farther and farther into a befuddled stupor every night.
- I was with Farnham that night that Lazarus led us into Labyrinth. I never saw the Archbishop again, and I may not have survived if Farnham was not at my side. I fear that the attack left his soul as crippled as, well, another did my leg. I cannot fight this battle for him now, but I would if I could.
- Farnham spends far too much time here, drowning his sorrows in cheap ale. I would make him leave, but he did suffer so during his time in the Labyrinth.
- Even my skills have been unable to fully heal Farnham. Oh, I have been able to mend his body, but his mind and spirit are beyond anything I can do.
- Farnham - now there is a man with serious problems, and I know all about how serious problems can be. He trusted too much in the integrity of one man, and Lazarus led him into the very jaws of death. Oh, I know what it's like down there, so don't even start telling me about your plans to destroy the evil that dwells in that Labyrinth. Just watch your legs...
- Griswold can't sell his anvil. What will he do then? And I'd be angry too if someone took my anvil!
- They stab, then bite, then they're all around you. Liar! LIAR! They're all dead! Dead! Do you hear me? They just keep falling and falling... their blood spilling out all over the floor... all his fault...
- Ogden mixes a MEAN black mushroom, but I get sick if I drink that. Listen, listen... here's the secret - moderation is the key!
- Look here... that's pretty funny, huh? Get it? Blind - look here?
- Lachdanan is dead. Everybody knows that, and you can't fool me into thinking any other way. You can't talk to the dead. I know!
- You know what I think? Somebody took that sign, and they gonna want lots of money for it. If I was Ogden... and I'm not, but if I was... I'd just buy a new sign with some pretty drawing on it. Maybe a nice mug of ale or a piece of cheese...
- You drink water?
- Big! Big cleaver killing all my friends. Couldn't stop him, had to run away, couldn't save them. Trapped in a room with so many bodies... so many friends... NOOOOOOOOOO!
- Okay, so listen. There's this chamber of wood, see. And his wife, you know - her - tells the tree... cause you gotta wait. Then I says, that might work against him, but if you think I'm gonna PAY for this... you... uh... yeah.
- I don't care about that. Listen, no skeleton is gonna be MY king. Leoric is King. King, so you hear me? HAIL TO THE KING!
- I used to have a nice ring; it was a really expensive one, with blue and green and red and silver. Don't remember what happened to it, though. I really miss that ring...
- Always you gotta talk about Blood? What about flowers, and sunshine, and that pretty girl that brings the drinks. Listen here, friend - you're obsessive, you know that?
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